Dick Fish (GB012)

11th Eleasis, 1492 - The Triboar Trail
The sun rises over our group as they break camp at the entrance to Twin Pools Cave. Petey and the Shoggya have formed an avenue of tentacles to see off their heroes, and Sack launches into "the jazz of dance" (being more about the steps that aren't performed) which essentially consists of carefully avoiding any movements that may in any way be cultural appropriation, but ultimately results in something resembling Morris Dancing. Meanwhile Moloch is shouting for the absent Dabshabah, which the Shoggya interpret as part of the victorious farewell dance. Centuries later the dance and shout will remain central to the Shoggya culture, thus rendering Sack's careful anti-appropriation retrospectively problematic. Something something paved with good intentions.

Heading back to Phandalin to return the stolen supplies sans Wistie, who has secret business and promises to rejoin the group in Phandalin, they encounter an argument at the side of the road between the human Rasqel and his hired bugbear muscle Jeremy and Matt, and a lizardfolk named Thetsis. As it seems a little one-sided, Sack positions himself (astride Lumpkin) between the parties and assumes the role of circuit judge, much to Rasqel's bemusement. With Friend as counsel for the plaintiff and Moloch as bailiff, all clearly believing that this is how conflicts are properly resolved in the world following their shotgun trial in Waterdeep, the kangaroo court resolves the matter of Rasqel v Thetsis for the plaintiff, dissolve the broken algae distribution contract between them and take the opportunity, on Friend's advice as a herbalist, to assume the contract themselves through their as-yet unnamed franchise. Rasqel is furious, but being outfoxed stomps away vowing retribution from the Zhentarim.

Gorkoh and Green Steve, somewhat over the fantastic opportunity to be the group's meatshields, offer to run the franchise in Phandalin as employees no 1 and 2 with Thetsis's tribe as their first suppliers. The prospect of passive income, basebuilding and lack of paperwork is variously appealing to the group and it is sealed with an awkward group low five.

Arriving once more in Phandalin, they encounter Linene Graywind the proprietor of the Lionshield Coster, and return the stolen goods much to her surprise and pleasure. She offers the group a discount on any purchases, and Sack orders a breastplate to be delivered for fitting by the smith in approximately a week. Linene's daughter Minghee is very enthusiastic about the group and excitedly promises to be at the Stonehill Inn that night to hear their tales sung.

Tales get around and the group carouses the locals until the wee hours. Moloch bonds with Minghee while Gorkoh and Steve plot the inevitable rise of the Forgotten Realms' Amazon.com.

There is much off-camera discussion of "Round the Twist" hence the Dick Fish reference.

12th Eleasis, 1492 - Phandalin
Breakfasting in the Stonehill, Gorkoh and Steve introduce to the group the elf priestess Sister Garaele, who oversees the Phandalin Shrine of Luck. Garaele encourages them to seek out the Manor on the hill overlooking Phandalin, which was formerly the headquarters of the previous franchise, the Fellowship of the Golden Mongoose. Strange noises have been heard emanating from the manor ever since it exploded recently.

The group is also reacquainted with one Redshirt McMeatshield, a dwarf berserker who seeks employment and/or adventure. Being quite taken with him, Sack enthusiastically agrees. Redshirt, despite the ominous portent of his name, is very optimistic about a long, bountiful and ultimately happy life ending in quiet retirement. One can almost taste the inevitable around him.

The group moves to Tresendar Manor, which is in ruins. Hearing the baying of dogs coming through an arch, Sack stops to complete his animal-conversation ritual, which completes just as a group of jackals enters the courtyard. Led by a werejackal named Hamebi. A tense tête-à-tête ensues, culminating in Hamebi putting Sack to sleep with her sleep-gaze. As the curtain begins to fall on the episode, Friend strides forward and throws his Quaal's Feather Token into the midst of the jackals, causing a 60' tree to spring into existence; instantly crushing 3 jackals into the underside of the arch, and suspending Hamebi and four other jackals high in the branches. This is obviously completely badass.